Happiness Is A Choice
Who wrote that quote? Happiness is a choice. I wonder where it came from? Do you think that is true? Would you agree that there are some people who are naturally born happier than others?
Just recently, I mentioned via Instagram, that I was listening to a Super Soul Conversation with Oprah and Shawn Achor titled How to Find Happiness in Todays World. It is a two-part conversation! Worth the listen. I don’t want to spoil it for everyone who is reading this, but there were so many points brought up in their conversations that are just too GOOD not to share!
So, evidently, there is a newer course being offered at Harvard Divinity called the Happiness Class, and it is getting a lot of buzz. It is the study of just that, happiness! In fact, the course at Harvard was so popular that one out of every 6 students enrolled took this very class! How encouraging! Shawn Achor was so fascinated by the study of happiness and the true purpose of joy in all our lives. Today Shawn travels the world training people and professionals on how to rewire their brains to become more positive. The studies are staggering. Who would have thought?
Research in positive psychology shows that if people change their habits and mindset, they can move dramatically away from the genes they were born with. Shawn also went on to say that we all need to redefine pleasure and happiness in our own lives. The ancient Greeks defined happiness as “the joy that we feel when we strive for our full potential." That comment alone can change how we pursue our true happiness. More and more we think about happiness purely as pleasure; it causes us to pursue happiness the wrong way! Kind of like when we eat a candy bar and we are just loving it as we are doing it! Makes us happy, right? But then, ten minutes later we are upset that we ate the candy bar. That may be a simple explanation, but you get the point. Think about that! Joy, on the other hand, is linked directly to meaning! It is linked directly to who were are as humans. And, as humans, we link happiness to what we have in life or what we have bought! Maybe you can relate to this, but how often do we tell ourselves, for example, ‘once I get that new car then I will be happy,' just to get it and the warm fuzzy feeling goes away very quickly. So, my goal is to link my joy directly to happiness. That just brought me back to my life purpose which is “the purpose of my life is to help others through it." When I say that phrase, it brings such joy to my heart that I can honestly say happiness is what I feel--more happiness than if I had just bought a new toy. To be very clear though, I enjoy new things no differently than others. But those things, in this super soul conversation, are just that-- THINGS. And more explained, those things just bring pleasure not joy. When it is explained more in depth, it really does make so much more sense. Overall, when I think of it, this approach to understanding happiness, I wonder why is it so hard for all of us to grasp?
I think that I may just have to start studying the psychology of happiness for myself! Seems like a very fulfilling career. Actually, it seems like a very fulfilling life towards joy and happiness. I also feel as if it was important for me to back up my last blog post about victimizing with something uplifting, encouraging and joyful!
I have come to realize when I allow myself to put my true feelings out there, especially when they are negative, I feel vulnerable! No one likes feeling vulnerable, especially when I am normally looked at as being the one who has the advice and who has the experience to share in a helpful way! Well, that is an assumption; so, really I can not say that. But what I do know is that because many of us do not normally like feeling vulnerable, we run from it! And, here I am always encouraging people to jump out of their comfort zone and take the leap because someone has to. In the meantime I am comfortable and life is good until I am pushed out of my comfort zone!! Hell no! I am not going there! Well, Nikki practice what you preach: feel vulnerable and then get over it. But, I would also like to mention that this vulnerable feeling and what most would describe as negative feeling, is also part of who we are! Oh yeah, and while you are at it, #behappy!! HAHAHA, had to throw that in there!
So, instead to titling unhappiness as a negative feeling or emotion, I am going to use it as a trigger to motivate me. Today’s affirmation is I AM LIGHT. I AM LOVE. I AM HAPPY. I also am pursuing that happiness by striving for my full potential. The reward is to embrace joy. After I have sat and thought about what about what that truly is, I have figured out that what brings me the most happiness is helping others dive deeper into their full potential in all areas of their lives. I am driven by allowing people to create connections with themselves and those in their lives, whether it be a simple smile or hello as I pass them at the grocery store. And, the hearts-on-healing approach to their wellbeing is what also strengthens me to become a better wife, mother, healer, and friend!
Would anyone be interested in choosing happiness with me? Do you feel like it is possible for you or is that a long shot? Would you consider yourself someone who always sees the bad in situations or do you have the ability to see the good in it? Or even better, are you the type of person who sees the bad during the situation but when you walk away is when you start to see the good? I can relate to all those questions.
If you are experiencing difficult situations in life, right now, I challenge you to write them down. After each one, then write down the good from it. Write down how it has brought more joy to you. Many of them, I am sure, are going to be very hard to see the good! But it is there. Sometimes we just need to dig a little bit deeper.
Happiness is a choice and you get to make it!
Blessings and #behappy
Nikki @ Zen Den Therapy
If you are interested in digging deeper I encourage you to check out some of the services I offer through the Creating Connection tab. There will be a handful of more Hearts on Healing services being added soon!